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Aging and Relationships: A Tale of Dementia’s Toll
“Mary, would you like some soup?” Thomas asked. “No, dear,” Mary answered, “but, I’ll have a corned beef on rye.” “Mary, you remember the ... Read More
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5 Factors that Contribute to Depression in Caregivers, Part I
According to the Family Caregiver Alliance, 40% to 70% of family caregivers have clinically significant symptoms of depression, with about a quarter to half of these caregivers meeting ... Read More
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Uncomfortably Numb: Finding Purpose in Pain
I saw a new client the other day, the wife of a man succumbing to a vicious opiate addiction which recently landed him in inpatient rehab. She wondered how on earth this happened to them. ... Read More
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Sexual Intimacy After Childbirth: When It Isn’t Like Before
For many women, having a baby is a long-awaited blessing. You have been carrying a baby for nine (or even 10) months; you might have been trying to become pregnant for a while; and your ... Read More
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The Dirtiest Word in the DSM
The use of the word “disorder” as a label for most mental health syndromes is, put simply, irresponsible and ill-conceived. There are two serious problems with describing psychological ... Read More
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The Seasons of Trauma: Recognizing When Symptoms Might Flare Up
A woman who has experienced a traumatic event seeks counseling when she finds that symptoms related to the trauma affect her ability to enjoy life and function normally. She meets with ... Read More
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Self-Esteem Means Esteem for Others, Too
You may have heard it said that you can’t truly love another person if you don’t love yourself. I wholeheartedly believe this to be true, and I think it speaks to the “mirror-type” ... Read More
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Transgender Day of Remembrance and the Nature of Hate
For the past 19 years, the transgender community has come together on November 20 to honor and mourn those brutally murdered for nothing more than their gender identity or expression. ... Read More
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How to Turn Self-Hatred into Self-Compassion
“I’m such a loser.” “I can’t do anything right.” “I’m ugly.” Too often, people brutally judge and attack themselves. If everyone treated others as poorly as they treat ... Read More
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Encouraging a Reluctant Partner to Try Counseling
When one partner wants counseling and the other doesn’t, this can become yet another power struggle in the relationship. Attempts to convince, persuade, or cajole may lead to a pursue-and-distance ... Read More
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Selfishness, Guilt, and Separation: When Parents Take Precedence
“You’re so selfish!” I hear this phrase too frequently when working with people who have trouble with separation and individuation. When children hear from their parents that they ... Read More
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When You’re a Minority in a Majority World
I was getting my morning cup of coffee, and while waiting to pay I saw others hand their money to the clerk and leave. When I attempted to do the same, another clerk rudely stated to me ... Read More